Favorite random non-musical bits on albums

[Digital_Man]

But it's funnier with the NASA countdown on Paradox Hotel, IMO.

Being funny doesn't seem to be a prerequisite for the thread though. Some of them just turn out that way.

[bigbassdrum]

Breathe deep the gathering gloom,
Watch lights fade from every room.
Bedsitter people look back and lament,
Another day's useless energy spent.
Impassioned lovers wrestle as one.
Lonely man cries for love and has none.
New mother picks up and suckles her son.
Senior citizens wish they were young.
Cold-hearted orb that rules the night
Removes the colours from our sight.
Red is grey and yellow white,
But we decide which is right
And which is an illusion. - Moody Blues

[Digital_Man]

^Well, in that case, I'll offer up this one:

I think, I think I am, therefore I am, I think.
[Establishment:] Of course you are my bright little star,
I've miles
And miles
Of files
Pretty files of your forefather's fruit
And now to suit our
Great computer,
You're magnetic ink.
I'm more than that, I know I am, at least, I think I must be.
[Inner Man:] There you go man, keep as cool as you can.
Face piles
And piles
Of trials
With smiles.
It riles them to believe
That you perceive
The web they weave
And keep on thinking free.


In the Beginning by the Moody Blues (from On the Threshold of a Dream)

The Moodies had several but seemed to stop after A Question of Balance although there is a spoken word bit on Long Distance Voyager.

[GuitarGeek]

A few that come to mind:

From The Wall:
"This place is bigger than our whole apartment. Are all these your guitars?!"

I love the bit on the second Police album, just before On Any Other Day, where Stewart Copeland says, "The other ones are complete bullshit". I was probably about 10 or 11 the first time I heard that, after borrowing the album from the library, and I laughed myself silly listening to that.

The opening speech on Negativland's Escape From Noise is another favourite:


Then there's the "I got chewing stuck to my boot, I keep sticking to the stage" bit on Uriah Heep Live, as well as David Byron introducing Gypsy as "a song that features the Mood Symplifier, and organ"

Paul Raymond introducing the other members of MSG on One Night At Budokan, telling the crowd to calm down after they go wild when he introduces Cozy Powell, "Alright, alright! He'll want more money! Should have saved him for last!"

Ian Gillan telling the sound man on Made In Japan, "Can we have everything louder than everything else" (and on the three CD Live In Japan compilation of leftovers from those shows, "We have excellent news: Starting next week, we're turning professional!")

I think it's on one of the You Can't Do That Onstage Anymore release where Frank Zappa, apparently sarcastically says, "Good GAWD! We're so professional!". Also, Frank reading off the license plate number of a car that's illegal parked, before another number on the YCDOTSA set.

If I may reach into the bootleg realm, ther'es Roger Waters sarcastically chiding David Gilmour for taking too long to tune up. "Don't worry about us, mate. I mean, it's only 8:00 and we did go on at half past seven, and we've only done one number, you just take your time". That's on the Birmingham show, from December 1970, before the launch into Embryo (the one number they'd done up to that point the show being Alan's Psychedelic Breakfast).

Another great Roger bit for a bootleg is from the Montreal show in 77, where he loses it after someone sets off a very loud firecracker during Pigs On The Wing Part Two. I also remember a bit on the one of the bootlegs from the 75 tour, I think Los Angeles, where he gripes at the security in the front of the audience "hassling people".

Oh yeah, and ther'es that backwards spoken word thing that Nicko McBrain did on Iron Maiden's Piece Of Mind album. I never knew it was, I actually put it on a cassette, and reversed the tape and played it back, but it sounded like gibberish, so I figured it was something in Latin or whatever. It turned out it was Nicko doing an impression of some British comedian doing an impression of Idi Amin.

[Sunlight Caller]

If we venture into live albums there's a plethora of interesting and memorable banter.

I played a couple of old favourites this week on vinyl, two that I have had since the mid 70's, Mott The Hoople Live and SAHB Live. Some of the on stage dialogue is so dated in these modern times, especially Ian Hunter's. On Sweet Angeline he is referring to >90% of the females in the audience as "slaaaags", not a term that would win you favour today. He also leads into encore with what he describes as "Get your ass top time, so we hope you are going to get your asses up".

Alex Harvey's patter is great and less problematic. I love his introduction to the show in his broad Glaswegian "Gud 'evening boys and gurrrls, it is a gas tae be here" and his chat with the audience during Framed.

Musically these two albums stand the sets of time and they are a real time capsule for life in Britain in the mid 70's.

[moecurlythanu]

A few that come to mind:

From The Wall:
" Are all these your guitars?!"

I quoted that line during the live chat on one of Pete Pardo's YouTube broadcasts a couple years ago, since he had a bunch of guitars hanging up behind him. He read it and replied something like "Of course they're my guitars, who's else would they be?" The Floyd reference went right by him. Oh well.

[Sturgeon's Lawyer]

OK, a couple of really really obvious ones I left for others but nobody, apparently, is going to.

On The Cheerful Insanity of Giles, Giles, and Fripp, there's the "Just George" and "Saga of Rodney Toady" bits.

On Joe's Garage, there's all the narration by the Central Scuh-rutinizer.

And then there's all the between- and during-song drama on Pete Townshend's Psychoderelict (the only CD I find it necessary to own two versions of, because sometimes I really just want the songs).

[Ten Thumbs]

Gentle Giant have a few, my favorite is yelling 'go' to start of Way of Life. Also really like Ray S yelling 'oh wow' during the violin part in The Face.

[pb2015]

Gentle Giant have a few, my favorite is yelling 'go' to start of Way of Life. Also really like Ray S yelling 'oh wow' during the violin part in The Face.

Also Gary Green's food order during Ray's violin intro to Plain Truth.

[Digital_Man]

Also Gary Green's food order during Ray's violin intro to Plain Truth.

Don't forget the beginning of (and other parts of) the Interview album.

[Mister Triscuits]

My favorite from Gentle Giant is the grunt in "Mister Class and Quality."

[Progbear]

Thought of another one: Bert Veldkamp’s (?) laugh after the group shouting of “ROYAL!” on the title track of Kayak’s Royal Bed Bouncer.

Also Gary Green's food order during Ray's violin intro to Plain Truth.

When someone brought up GG, that was the first thing I thought of.

[jake]

A few seconds after the music ends on the Psychic TV album Ultrahouse a voice with a faintly East European accent proclaims:
“A thing or two I know about the chief of police makes him my slave”.

[Halmyre]

Peter Gabriel chiding Phil Collins for missing his cue during the Supper's Ready introductory story, and Phil's response:

"Sorry, I wasn't really listening"

[Piskie]

"Would you like some tea?".... "Bye Bye".....

[thedunno]

Tom Waits in Franks wild years; 'Never could stand that dog'.

[Lopez]

"I saw ya." at the end of the Who's "Happy Jack."
"Look out, baby, there's a planet coming." at the end of the Move's "Do Ya."
"I speak tonight for the dignity of man..." Lyndon Johnson followed by laughs at the opening of the Electric Flag's "Killing Floor."

[Paulie]

"Look, I'll pay ya for it. What the fuck..."

[pulse]

“C’mon Tommy, hurry up... If we don’t get finished we’ll have to throw down the dough.”
- The fade out of Van Morrison’s Cleaning Windows

[Munster]

“I love the hi-hat at the end, Guy,” Squid/Octopus - Van Der Graaf Generator

On the Charisma Years’ remastered version it goes: “Fuck, fuck, bloody annoying. I didn’t like the ….* I love the hi-hat at the end, Guy.”
*Despite repeated listens I still can’t hear what is said here.

[Burley Wright]

[syncopatico]

"I'll play it, & tell you what it is later." (Miles, before counting in If I Were a Bell)

Speaking of Miles Davis, there's that very famous comment from Miles during the first take of The Man I Love from December 24, 1954, at the Rudy van Gelder Studio, Hackensack NJ, where Miles says to engineer Rudy Van Gelder, "Hey Rudy, put this on the record, man – all of it!" (which he does), after Thelonious Monk stops the take in progress because he's not sure when he should come in.

[GuitarGeek]

Speaking of Miles Davis, there's that very famous comment from Miles during the first take of The Man I Love from December 24, 1954, at the Rudy van Gelder Studio, Hackensack NJ, where Miles says to engineer Rudy Van Gelder, "Hey Rudy, put this on the record, man – all of it!" (which he does), after Thelonious Monk stops the take in progress because he's not sure when he should come in.

There's a great exchange between Miles and Teo Macero on the complete Bitches Brew sessions box:

Teo: Is this part two, or...
Miles: It's part 8, WHAT DIFFERENCE DOES IT MAKE?!
Teo: Alright, alright...
Miles (under his breath) motherfucker
Teo: This is part something

[Dave (in MA)]

If you like that sort of thing, the Bootleg Series vol 5 has 8 "Explicit" tracks:
https://www.amazon.com/Miles-Davis-Q.../dp/B01KCMXGLK

[progmatist]

As a teenager, I loved the way Sabbath's Master of Reality started with a cough, which repeated like a broken record, then went into Sweet Leaf. I also loved the way Purple's Fireball started with the air conditioner powering up. They had to wait patiently all day for that to happen.