This Year Really Sucked

[TheLoony]

Gods, this crap just keeps on coming.

First my friend Joe, barely turns 40 and dies from blood clots in the brain. Then Mom the next day, expected, but still sucky.

Confirmed, Joe's wife was impaired last night and killed someone in a DUI. Leaving behind two teenagers. Looking at the Henry Ruggs situation which was the same although he was at 156 MPH causing the car to explode which is a bit more graphic, she's looking at a lot of years in prison and will never get out, even on bail as Ruggs was a mil and she'll never have enough to even get out before trial.

Within four months I just lost an entire family. I was gonna try and jam with the older kid, he plays guitar, if I could ever get my wrist straightened out and I'll probably never see him again. Who knows what CPS will do to the kids. A family friend is going to stay with them for now but who knows how long that will last.

Four days before Christmas, bad timing which just makes it worse. Damn her, she should have been more responsible. I was supposed to go over there on Christmas to hang out. Guess that's not happening.

[ronmac]

Man, that really does suck. I'm really sorry for your loss.

It's been a pretty sucky year for far too many people.

2022 doesn't look like it will be any better.

[TheLoony]

Next year HAS to be better, I can't think of a worse ending to this year. Guess it could be worse, like IIRC Karl Anthony Townes in the NBA who lost his whole real family to covid. Extended family doesn't make it any less worse, I guess, I don't know.

I'm still processing this. I woke up to a sobbing woman on my phone less than two hours ago. The crying bit has just kicked in. Gonna be a while to really feel the impact.

[Dave (in MA)]

♥ Loony, don't know what to say. Damn.

[proggy_jazzer]

That's more than your fair share, no doubt. I hope things get better from here for you.

[moecurlythanu]

Tough way to go, Loony. Hope you get a turn of fortune soon.

[Plasmatopia]

Sorry to hear that. What a tragedy. I have to believe better things are coming your way in 2022.

[SteveSly]

Very sorry to hear of your troubles Loony. Hope 2022 is better for you.

[Sturgeon's Lawyer]

That does, indeed, suck, m'man. If you need to vent pm me and we'll set something up.

[IMWeasel]

I'm really sorry to hear about that, and I definitely know what that kind of loss feels like

[TheLoony]

Details....She fucked up so badly. We don't know where she was before the last known place before the wreck. She was hammered at a friends bar whom promptly figured out she was not well, cut her off and told her not to drive. She wanted to go out to her car for a vape pen and bolted.

She ended up running a red light that was red for 15 seconds at an intersection she should never have been at but drunken driving doesn't always have logic behind it.

With the death of her hubby, the impact that had on the kids and now this, those kids are in for a helluva ride. All the kids presents were in the car so friends have had to go out last minute and buy them gifts and stay with them to give them some semblance of life. And there's a 64 year-old grandparent who's dead and her hubby is injured, the most important part of this.

This is a really tough pill to swallow. She's still the great person I know her to be but one stupid mistake has ruined her and her kid's lives. Seeing a great friend's name along with D.U.I. and death is not something you would ever want to see, to know, that a great person fucked up so badly she killed someone.

Thanks guys for the words. There's two communities hurt by this, the family and friends of the deceased and my friends family and friends and we are all in a world of pain. The ripple effect from this is far and wide and just utterly horrible to even think of let alone have to deal with.

Life is a huge bitch and it's all in how you deal with it. Sis is very worried about me but I'll be ok, I ain't facing prison time just the fallout from her going in.

She barely knew Tara but there's the women=emotional vs. men=logical bullcrap. I've had my cries over the last few days but seeing the women involved just so torn apart it's really heartbreaking. Devastated people from this act.

I feel guilty just living life, doing normal things that my friend will never get to do again. Sure, she'll probably get out on bail until the trial but when that's done she's a goner. I guess she doesn't deserve to have the things in life that we all have but it's still difficult to reconcile all of this.

[Jerjo]

Loony, my deepest condolences on your YEAR OF SUCK. Some people go through life unscathed and some get body blows again and again.

Your friend is likely to do time but who knows what will happen if it goes to trial. She'll have to decide whether to risk a trial or cut a plea deal for shorter time. A woman who lost her husband and is spiraling out of control, a good attorney could make a case for some leniency if she gets treatment.

[3LockBox]

Loony, the best of people make the worst mistakes sometimes. I have a relative who spent 5 years in prison and pretty much needed to leave the country in order to have some reasonable facsimile of a normal life (though he lives in a world where he's one Google search away from disaster).

Your friend's wife will need a good lawyer and a lot of friends. I'm pretty sure the person you knew is still in there somewhere .

[Scott Bails]

I'm so sorry, Loony. Sincerely hope things start looking up for you in this new year.

[TheLoony]

Found out she's still in the hospital with broken ribs, most likely caged to a bed which must suck. She can't have a bond hearing if she can't go to court and she can't go to court chained to a hospital bed. So it will be a few weeks before that happens and turns out her Dad is flying into town from Houston and wants to pack up the house and take the kids back to Houston.

Seems her bond right now is a quarter mil and even if it does get reduced I guess the family is willing to spend that money on defense attorneys instead of bail they can't get back. She wouldn't have a place to go to even if bail was posted as the family has all the rights in the world and this is what they have chosen.

I did have a great laugh at Dave Barry's Year In Review, the first good laugh I'd had since this happened. Thanks for the words, they do mean something. This is a cloud over so many people and I'm not forgetting the family of the woman killed, they must be devastated also. A cloud above us all that won't go away any time soon.

[TheLoony]

Loony, my deepest condolences on your YEAR OF SUCK. Some people go through life unscathed and some get body blows again and again.

Your friend is likely to do time but who knows what will happen if it goes to trial. She'll have to decide whether to risk a trial or cut a plea deal for shorter time. A woman who lost her husband and is spiraling out of control, a good attorney could make a case for some leniency if she gets treatment.

Spiraling out of control, you said. She might have been but if so she put up one helluva face about it. She was the one comforting me the night Joe died and knowing she had probably been at the bar for a couple of hours she seemed remarkably in control and said she had made her peace with him dying. She was with him all day, brought him some good food and finally he said he could go in peace and went.

I swear, I didn't see it. I've been to the house a few times and hung out with friends out by the pool and all seemed normal, as normal as could be after a untimely death. She just didn't seem to be that but I can so admit that she could have been lying to all of us and it was worse than we thought.

By the Gods, if it was there and I missed it, well there's more guilt upon this. At least I'll never know as she won't be able to tell me.

[aith01]

By the Gods, if it was there and I missed it, well there's more guilt upon this.

Loony, you shouldn't blame yourself. I know it's human nature to want to blame someone when tragedy happens, even if it's oneself. In order to help someone, they have to be willing to accept your help (or to even want help). Believe me, I've been down that road before myself and it's not an easy thing to accept. I don't want you to beat yourself up over this. Time and unexpected events befall us all.

[JKL2000]

Don't know what I can add, aside my own hopes that things improve for YOU soon! 2021 did suck - it sucked for her, her whole family, and several others are caught in the wake. Sounds like you're a good friend, trying to see all sides of it. What more can you do? Just remember to focus on yourself as much as you can, and indeed I hope 2022 is better for you.

[ronmac]

Seems her bond right now is a quarter mil and even if it does get reduced I guess the family is willing to spend that money on defense attorneys instead of bail they can't get back.

Actually, when the defendant shows up in court, the bail is returned.

[Rune Blackwings]

Sorry on the losses.

[Rune Blackwings]

Spiraling out of control, you said. She might have been but if so she put up one helluva face about it. She was the one comforting me the night Joe died and knowing she had probably been at the bar for a couple of hours she seemed remarkably in control and said she had made her peace with him dying. She was with him all day, brought him some good food and finally he said he could go in peace and went.

I swear, I didn't see it. I've been to the house a few times and hung out with friends out by the pool and all seemed normal, as normal as could be after a untimely death. She just didn't seem to be that but I can so admit that she could have been lying to all of us and it was worse than we thought.

By the Gods, if it was there and I missed it, well there's more guilt upon this. At least I'll never know as she won't be able to tell me.

Some people are very good at hiding things. My dad's father hid stuff for decades until his failing health and searches of his house revealed the extent of his health issues. He knew of it all but never even told his wife. Don't blame yourself.

[TheLoony]

Some people are very good at hiding things. My dad's father hid stuff for decades until his failing health and searches of his house revealed the extent of his health issues. He knew of it all but never even told his wife. Don't blame yourself.

Seems you are right. Packing up the house the other day I learned more details and she was out of control, arguing with the kids blah blah blah.

[TheLoony]

2022 has gotten off to a real big bang, and in a good way.

All this shit the last couple weeks and from out of nowhere, a friend I hadn't seen nor heard from in thirty years shows up, alive and well.

His stepdad was my piano teacher in 4/5 grades and forced me to do a buttload of theory that I have since forgotten all of. I play drums, who cares about notes and that important stuff.

Atari 2600 days, when my house was community property and all the neighborhood kids hung out here, went to Sunday School together and Macayo's afterwords for some comfort food. The memories that we have, some overlap, some don't, but we both remembered him as Gene Simmons and me as Peter Criss for a Boy Scout Helloween party. I even had the small tattoo Criss had lol.

He stuck a note in my mailbox and I about fell over. I had been thinking of him a lot recently for some reason. I remember hanging out with him two days after his New Years Eve birthday at a belated birthday party when the epic Chargers/Dolphins playoff game happened. Rolf Bernischke and I think I spelled that one wrong.

A bit of fresh old air, lol. For this to happen after all that has been sucky, well, maybe there is a God. I still think there's a number of God's up there and they are just using us as less than pawns in chess. I'm most likely right but if there is just one up there, then, well, thanks. A really nice gift for this new year.

[ronmac]

^^ Well, that's quite a story. Nice start for the year!

[TheLoony]

Thanks, Ron. Yeah, that sure was a jolt, blast from the past and all that jazz. He seems still cool, stable with a wife and two girls, 17 and 20....neither of whom drive a car, how odd is that? Crikey, I couldn't wait to get my license at 16. Gotta say, getting that note from him the mailbox was such a treat. After the heartbreak of last year something even ok happening is a blessing.

He's one who looks on that era fondly, as do I. Heck, I had the Atari so all the kids naturally came to my house, I didn't have to go searching for friends and mom was cool about having the whole neighborhood hanging out here. Us boys played homer double single triple in my front yard where how far you hit the baseball you got more bases and my friends house was the barrier. I can't believe we never once busted a window and he remembered that idiotic game lol.

With our '60's wallpaper and the most god awful carpet in this house, it really was sucky looking. The pics are great from that era, the women still had the beehive haircuts from the '60's....I have the evidence, pics from birth up to '86.

Our old orange plastic keypad phone that replaced the rotary, so ugly. Like I said, the wallpaper, so very bad. Felt and stuff all over it.

I just lost a whole family, Tara's going to prison, Joe is dead and the kids are now in Houston but I just gained another whole family, maybe not yet as I obviously haven't met them but I will and so maybe the fates can even out a little bit at times.

Helluva start to 2022. Only a few days in and things are looking up.